Should You Ever Start?

A few years ago, I wrote a post about shopping and why I don't like it. Mostly it's because it causes something in me that I don't like, covetousness. It makes me unhappy with what I have and long for me. I've been thinking about this same idea in several areas of life and it has led me to the question, is it better to never start.

For almost a whole year, I have not slept more than 4-5 hours in a row. Unsurprisingly, this timing goes back to when my darling Alistair entered the world. I've been doing okay, but this week, after 3 very bad night in a row I looked in the mirror and saw that I had a grayish complexion with very, very dark circles under my eyes. I'm not much of a make-up wearer, not being able to wear it until I was 16 probably contributed to this, and usually just use a little eye make-up each day. On that third day, sad about what I saw in the mirror, I pulled out the make-up bag that I use for special occasions with powder, blush and other various items. I put some on in hopes of looking human for the day. It worked, I was pleased with what I saw in the mirror. So the next day, I decided, "Hey, I looked good, let's try it again." And on Friday, I found myself applying a face full of make-up for the third day in a row.

Is there anything wrong with wearing make-up? No. Is there anything wrong with wanting to feel better about yourself? No. But I wonder if there are times when we begin to do things that change the way that we life our lives, the way that we think about them. Simple things really: starting to drink real coffee, so that I have become a coffee snob turning up my nose at coffee that isn't freshly ground and locally roasted. We started eating locally grown fresh food, and I find very few restaurants that satisfy my tastes and aren't overly processed. After 6 years of being a one car family, we bought a 2nd car, and now can't imagine life with just one. These are all fairly small, but slowly, life begins to change. And perhaps looks a way that we never thought it would.

There are changes that are definitely good, but there are also those that complicate life, call for more of my resources, and make me less content with my life as it is. It leads me to the question, should we ever start?

The Goods of Lent

It seems as though every year I give up the same things for Lent. Every Sunday during the season of Lent, I feast on them (gorge might be a better word), not to be deprived of something I love, and every Easter Sunday marks a return to the old, as though Lent didn't just happen.

This year seemed to be no different. I gave up sweets (a regular in the Daugherty household) and buying coffee at coffee shops (this was becoming a habit, and keeping me from some commitments to simple living that our family tries to keep). Simple things, but both something that really seem to have a hold on my life and serve as distractions to living the way that I feel I am called to live. It seemed as though many of the groups that I am a part of were talking about Lent differently this year. In my Sunday School class, we talked about fasting for Lent not just as something that we "sacrificed" to more deeply know the suffering of Christ on the cross, but instead as something that we did to create new paths of deeper discipleship in our lives.

I began to think about Lent this way, but also began to wonder if I would truly be different when the 40 (or 46) days were over. I still found myself most nights in the kitchen after we had put the kids down wondering how I could get something kind of sweet to satisfy my cravings and how long this fast would be over so that I could get back to life as usual. Easter came, and still not much had changed. But, in this week, I am finding that during this season of Lent, new pathways, however simple, were being created. I had a few days were I indulged in sweets, seemingly as though Lent had never happened, but then I realized that I found myself not wanting sweets, not needing or craving them as I had before. I also found that they weren't as satisfying, and after I ate something, I wished that I hadn't. And so, I find myself making some small decisions that shape my relationship with food (which has never been an especially good one). I don't know how long it will last, but for now, I want to make changes and am making steps to make them. Don't worry, I'm not giving them up completely.

Do I think that not eating sweets is some kind of great spiritual feat? Not really. But, in this one thing, I see how God is continuing to shape me. As I am obedient, God's grace will transform my life, even in the small things, and hopefully that leads to the big things as well. As I clear out the voices clamoring for attention, I can begin to hear the small voice of God speaking into my life. I pray that this is only the beginning.

And you know what, I don't miss it all that much anyway.