You can never know

I went this week to a Minister & Mates retreat in Baton Rouge, LA. The speaker was one of my favorite preachers in the Church of the Nazarene (he's a long preacher, but a good one), Dr. Jesse Middendorf. He has incredible theology and his sermons are so thoughtful. As I was on the District Assembly circuit this summer, I think that I listened to over 20 hours of his sermons!

Last night, Dr. Middendorf spoke of the storms and shipwrecks that come into the lives of pastors (it was a pastor's retreat after all). And one of his points was that "Good people have children who rebel." He shared the story and heartache that he and his wife have experienced with their youngest son, Jim. Jim has been involved with alcohol, drugs and things that they don't even know about. For two years, they didn't even know where he was! And as he spoke about Jim, all that I could think about was Ella.

Every night, before we head upstairs to bed, I go into Ella's room where she is peacefully resting (and oh so cute!) and pray for her. I pray that God would put a hedge of protection around her, that God would help her to grow up to love God, that God would care for her in the midst of all that is happening in her life. The thing that hit me last night was that the Middendorfs probably prayed the same thing for Jim. The more Dr. Middendorf spoke about Jim, the harder I began to pray for Ella. But I realized that you can never know what will happen. You never know what choices your children will make. You can't make their decisions for them.

It breaks my heart to even think about not knowing where Ella is for two years, to think about drugs and alcohol destroying her life. You can never know what will happen, but I rest in the fact that no matter where she is, she will be in the palm of God's hand, and I am thankful for that.

Nobody Likes to Wait, Including Me

I'm going on a short business trip this week to Baton Rouge, LA. I arrived at the airport at 8:30 for my 10:15 departure time, and was able to get right through ticketing and security. I soon learned that our plane was delayed, and delayed and delayed. I now sit at the Nashville airport waiting for the plane to get here in hopes of a 1:45 departure. I know that there's little that can be done about these kinds of things (it's all weather related), but I when I think of all of the things that need to be done at home, and how much I could have used these extra three hours of time, it makes me sad. Our lives have been absolutely crazy this fall, and these three hours could have made a big difference for me and the chores that await me at home.

But, maybe this delay can teach me a lesson. Sometimes I just need to stop and slow down. And it really is okay not to be doing something every single minute of the day. I'm off to get some lunch, and enjoy reading the magazine that has been sitting unopened at my house for 3 weeks.

A Game and half? A Game and a half?

What has happened to the Red Sox? After two straight losses to Toronto and two Yankee wins, only a game and a half stands between the beloved Red Sox and the dreaded Yankees. Will what has so far been a fantastic season be ruined? I am banging my head against the wall in frustration (not literally, of course). Such is the life of a Red Sox fan.

Teeth are not for Biting

Along with being a genius, my daughter has quite an aggressive streak. With her best friend, she would sometimes tackle her just to hug her. She also would tend to bite her every so often. Since she has been in school, the teachers have mentioned to us that she sometimes has some issues with hitting, pushing or kicking. I knew that there was a problem yesterday when I walked into Ella's school, and her teacher said to me, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Uh-oh, my first parent/teacher conference. Ella's teacher proceeded to tell me that not once, but twice in the course of the day, Ella had bitten one of her classmates (different classmates, you have to spread the love). I felt embarrassed, sheepish and was quite apologetic.

As I took Ella out to the car, I asked her if she had gotten in trouble, and she told me that she had, and for biting. So we talked about how we don't bite our friends. We also went to the library and checked out a book that we had looked at before, Teeth are not for Biting , along with companion books, Hands are not for Hitting, and Feet are not for Kicking. We read each of the books last night and again this morning. I don't know how much Ella understood, but I guess that at least we're trying. On the way to school we talked about how we act with our friends, not hitting, pushing, kicking or biting, but instead sharing our toys and playing. What else is a parent supposed to do? And how many more playmates will my daughter abuse?

I am sure that Ella will grow out of this stage, but in the meantime, it leaves me feeling inadequate as a parent :(

The angst of Parenthood

Ella has been in daycare now for almost 3 weeks, and she loves it. Unfortunately, she's only attended one day this week, because the center was closed on Labor Day (but Trevecca and Vanderbilt were not) and then she has been sick this week (now she has a recurrence of her hand, foot and mouth disease and can't go). Well, 1) we pay for her to go whether she's there or not and 2) we need her to go because we're working, taking class, doing homework, etc. A person only has so much sick time that they can take! I'm a little concerned about it all, and wonder if we're going to make it through. Part of me wants to find a way to stay at home, but if I stay home, we don't eat or have a roof over our heads. This is the reason that families stick close together, Ella has a grandma who stays at home everyday (and soon a grandpa, too) that would love to spend time with her. If only we lived in Indiana.......

Tonight's the Beginning of Something Exciting

So tonight's the night, the NFL season starts! Of course, I am doubly excited because the season starts with my Indianapolis Colts facing off against the New Orleans Saints. When I was 5, my mom signed me up to be a cheerleader for pee-wee football, and I have loved it ever since. I love the competition, I love the hype, I love listening to sports talk radio. Everything things that the Colts won't make it back to the Superbowl this year, and they might be right, but I'm ready for an exciting ride. There's just something about Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy that gets me excited!