The Life of a Toddler Mom or just a grumpy lady?

So, I often find myself frustrated with Ella, and even raising my voice more than I would like. I especially noticed it after being together all day today. Ella is 2 1/2 now and is starting to flex her independence muscle. She wants to do everything, and she wants to do it her way. This works most of the time, but when we need to get somewhere, or when something needs to be done (or if it needs to be done in a particular way), I find that it's very hard to get her to do it, or to listen. We haven't made a habit of spanking, or using any kind of physical punishment, but are thinking that maybe we need to use a little to get her to respond. I often find myself yelling her name in exasperation.

So, is that what life is like as the mother of a toddler, or am I just a grumpy lady? Those of you who have raised (or are raising) toddlers, what do you think??

You can never know

I went this week to a Minister & Mates retreat in Baton Rouge, LA. The speaker was one of my favorite preachers in the Church of the Nazarene (he's a long preacher, but a good one), Dr. Jesse Middendorf. He has incredible theology and his sermons are so thoughtful. As I was on the District Assembly circuit this summer, I think that I listened to over 20 hours of his sermons!

Last night, Dr. Middendorf spoke of the storms and shipwrecks that come into the lives of pastors (it was a pastor's retreat after all). And one of his points was that "Good people have children who rebel." He shared the story and heartache that he and his wife have experienced with their youngest son, Jim. Jim has been involved with alcohol, drugs and things that they don't even know about. For two years, they didn't even know where he was! And as he spoke about Jim, all that I could think about was Ella.

Every night, before we head upstairs to bed, I go into Ella's room where she is peacefully resting (and oh so cute!) and pray for her. I pray that God would put a hedge of protection around her, that God would help her to grow up to love God, that God would care for her in the midst of all that is happening in her life. The thing that hit me last night was that the Middendorfs probably prayed the same thing for Jim. The more Dr. Middendorf spoke about Jim, the harder I began to pray for Ella. But I realized that you can never know what will happen. You never know what choices your children will make. You can't make their decisions for them.

It breaks my heart to even think about not knowing where Ella is for two years, to think about drugs and alcohol destroying her life. You can never know what will happen, but I rest in the fact that no matter where she is, she will be in the palm of God's hand, and I am thankful for that.