I went this week to a Minister & Mates retreat in Baton Rouge, LA. The speaker was one of my favorite preachers in the Church of the Nazarene (he's a long preacher, but a good one), Dr. Jesse Middendorf. He has incredible theology and his sermons are so thoughtful. As I was on the District Assembly circuit this summer, I think that I listened to over 20 hours of his sermons!
Last night, Dr. Middendorf spoke of the storms and shipwrecks that come into the lives of pastors (it was a pastor's retreat after all). And one of his points was that "Good people have children who rebel." He shared the story and heartache that he and his wife have experienced with their youngest son, Jim. Jim has been involved with alcohol, drugs and things that they don't even know about. For two years, they didn't even know where he was! And as he spoke about Jim, all that I could think about was Ella.
Every night, before we head upstairs to bed, I go into Ella's room where she is peacefully resting (and oh so cute!) and pray for her. I pray that God would put a hedge of protection around her, that God would help her to grow up to love God, that God would care for her in the midst of all that is happening in her life. The thing that hit me last night was that the Middendorfs probably prayed the same thing for Jim. The more Dr. Middendorf spoke about Jim, the harder I began to pray for Ella. But I realized that you can never know what will happen. You never know what choices your children will make. You can't make their decisions for them.
It breaks my heart to even think about not knowing where Ella is for two years, to think about drugs and alcohol destroying her life. You can never know what will happen, but I rest in the fact that no matter where she is, she will be in the palm of God's hand, and I am thankful for that.
Last night, Dr. Middendorf spoke of the storms and shipwrecks that come into the lives of pastors (it was a pastor's retreat after all). And one of his points was that "Good people have children who rebel." He shared the story and heartache that he and his wife have experienced with their youngest son, Jim. Jim has been involved with alcohol, drugs and things that they don't even know about. For two years, they didn't even know where he was! And as he spoke about Jim, all that I could think about was Ella.
Every night, before we head upstairs to bed, I go into Ella's room where she is peacefully resting (and oh so cute!) and pray for her. I pray that God would put a hedge of protection around her, that God would help her to grow up to love God, that God would care for her in the midst of all that is happening in her life. The thing that hit me last night was that the Middendorfs probably prayed the same thing for Jim. The more Dr. Middendorf spoke about Jim, the harder I began to pray for Ella. But I realized that you can never know what will happen. You never know what choices your children will make. You can't make their decisions for them.
It breaks my heart to even think about not knowing where Ella is for two years, to think about drugs and alcohol destroying her life. You can never know what will happen, but I rest in the fact that no matter where she is, she will be in the palm of God's hand, and I am thankful for that.
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2 comments:
What a great picture!
Hi Heather. You are right, we don't know what choices our kids will make and I have thought the same thing about other godly parents whose children went astray ... they probably did everything right. But, we continue to pray and pray harder and I always try to remind myself that no matter how much I love my little cherubs, God loves them even more. He will pursue them and woo them. That is where I put my trust - not in my parenting abilities but in God's mercy and love. By the way, we knew Jim well. We were his sunday school teachers while he was in high school. We still pray for him. Send me your email address please.
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